Saturday, July 09, 2005
Am I the only one this occurs to? A phrase, short scene or somesuch will come to mind, unbidden. It's one thing to be creative while I'm writing (Heck, that's when I want to be creative), but not while I'm just going through everyday tasks or in the middle of the night.
Mrs Sivana has more than once said I should carry a small notebook with me to write them down. For her, it is mostly an issue of dealing with my trail of paper scraps that I leave trailing behind me like breadcrumbs. For me, it would be nice to actually fully note what just popped in my head, rather than ask someone else "Hey, you remember earlier (or yesterday (or last week)), when we were" [random event] "and then you said" [random response] "....? What did I say after that?"
Sigh......
So this is the first in an ongoing attempt to collect my random thoughts in one location, while going thru old notes, scraps and other ephemera.
The Island of Misfit Phrases
(First in a series of thought fragments which go no-where in a hurry)
Pop rocks and cheese doodles.... That's all I'm living for these days, man....
.... sealed with a blood-stained kiss
Q) Lose an eye?(said to someone wearing an eyepatch)
A) Nope. Found one.
Q) What the hell is he talking about? (whispered)
A) I have no bloody idea. Just smile and nod your head; maybe he'll go away. (also whispered)
Q) Would you, could you in a boat?
Would you, could you with a goat?
A) God, you're disgusting!! (shoving person away)
A serial bank-robber who only steal the lollipops....
That's not wax... It's ear-cheese for the little mouse what lives in my head.
I'm going to commit hari krishna... Shave my head, wear a ponytail and hang out in airports.
Are those my keys or am I happy to see me?
I need more hatred in my life
They found Cupid the other day, an arrow in his back.
The Lone Raver trips again!!
anxiously content
Someone runs into a convenience store wearing safety goggles and a stained labcoat and screams "Quick, man! Where are the Pop Rocks? It's an emergency!!"
The towels are not what they seem. (from a Twin Peaks/Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy x-over)
In the back (chill-out) area of a dance club, someone uses a bright orange marker to play connect the dots with the cigarette burn-holes in the carpet.
Gimme a quarter and I'll bother someone else.
(A bunch of c-level superheroes (ala Mystery Men) are sitting around a table in a bar or diner.)
A) Hey, weren't you called 'El Hombre' a few years back?
B) Yeah... but... uh... (sighs) PeeWee sent Cowboy Curtis and the King of Cartoons after me. Had to change it.
(Everyone snickers)
B) (indignant) It ain't funny!! I'm lucky he didn't send Miss Yvonne...
(Everyone shudders, one of them crosses him/herself)
A) You broke my beard! You friggin' broke my beard!!
B) (calmly) I know. I wanted to hit you where it hurts.
Thank God I'm an athiest!!
A) All these... these children!! (throws up hands in frustration)
B) You need to start hanging with people your own age.
A) (darkly) There is no-one my own age....
Q) (shocked) What the hell are you eating?
A) (brightly) Y'know... The five basic food groups: green stuff, red stuff, brown stuff, white stuff... And cheese!!
(while looking through the mail) Ah, cool! The new issue of "Guns and Panties"!!
I remember it being so hot in Arizona that when you used the facilities, you didn't pee as much as you vented steam. It'd kinda come out in this yellowish cloud af vapor... Hooooosshhhh.....
legend of a ghost bison herd roaming the mid-west (variation on the ghost ships)
Children. That's all they were, children; none appeared over twenty. With skin so pale they'd be invisible in winter's northern reaches and with coats and dresses so flowing and black they'd be as invisible in midnight's shadow. With Wizard of Oz hair: every color imaginable from black to blue, to green, to white and every hue between (and a few known only to those from the other side of the rainbow).
A) Psssttttt.... That new guy over there? He's an organ-grinder.
B) How can you tell?
A) Hairy palms....
Mrs Sivana has more than once said I should carry a small notebook with me to write them down. For her, it is mostly an issue of dealing with my trail of paper scraps that I leave trailing behind me like breadcrumbs. For me, it would be nice to actually fully note what just popped in my head, rather than ask someone else "Hey, you remember earlier (or yesterday (or last week)), when we were" [random event] "and then you said" [random response] "....? What did I say after that?"
Sigh......
So this is the first in an ongoing attempt to collect my random thoughts in one location, while going thru old notes, scraps and other ephemera.
The Island of Misfit Phrases
(First in a series of thought fragments which go no-where in a hurry)
Pop rocks and cheese doodles.... That's all I'm living for these days, man....
.... sealed with a blood-stained kiss
Q) Lose an eye?(said to someone wearing an eyepatch)
A) Nope. Found one.
Q) What the hell is he talking about? (whispered)
A) I have no bloody idea. Just smile and nod your head; maybe he'll go away. (also whispered)
Q) Would you, could you in a boat?
Would you, could you with a goat?
A) God, you're disgusting!! (shoving person away)
A serial bank-robber who only steal the lollipops....
That's not wax... It's ear-cheese for the little mouse what lives in my head.
I'm going to commit hari krishna... Shave my head, wear a ponytail and hang out in airports.
Are those my keys or am I happy to see me?
I need more hatred in my life
They found Cupid the other day, an arrow in his back.
The Lone Raver trips again!!
anxiously content
Someone runs into a convenience store wearing safety goggles and a stained labcoat and screams "Quick, man! Where are the Pop Rocks? It's an emergency!!"
The towels are not what they seem. (from a Twin Peaks/Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy x-over)
In the back (chill-out) area of a dance club, someone uses a bright orange marker to play connect the dots with the cigarette burn-holes in the carpet.
Gimme a quarter and I'll bother someone else.
(A bunch of c-level superheroes (ala Mystery Men) are sitting around a table in a bar or diner.)
A) Hey, weren't you called 'El Hombre' a few years back?
B) Yeah... but... uh... (sighs) PeeWee sent Cowboy Curtis and the King of Cartoons after me. Had to change it.
(Everyone snickers)
B) (indignant) It ain't funny!! I'm lucky he didn't send Miss Yvonne...
(Everyone shudders, one of them crosses him/herself)
A) You broke my beard! You friggin' broke my beard!!
B) (calmly) I know. I wanted to hit you where it hurts.
Thank God I'm an athiest!!
A) All these... these children!! (throws up hands in frustration)
B) You need to start hanging with people your own age.
A) (darkly) There is no-one my own age....
Q) (shocked) What the hell are you eating?
A) (brightly) Y'know... The five basic food groups: green stuff, red stuff, brown stuff, white stuff... And cheese!!
(while looking through the mail) Ah, cool! The new issue of "Guns and Panties"!!
I remember it being so hot in Arizona that when you used the facilities, you didn't pee as much as you vented steam. It'd kinda come out in this yellowish cloud af vapor... Hooooosshhhh.....
legend of a ghost bison herd roaming the mid-west (variation on the ghost ships)
Children. That's all they were, children; none appeared over twenty. With skin so pale they'd be invisible in winter's northern reaches and with coats and dresses so flowing and black they'd be as invisible in midnight's shadow. With Wizard of Oz hair: every color imaginable from black to blue, to green, to white and every hue between (and a few known only to those from the other side of the rainbow).
A) Psssttttt.... That new guy over there? He's an organ-grinder.
B) How can you tell?
A) Hairy palms....
Thursday, July 07, 2005
today's booty
JSA 75
Villain's Incorporated 03
Return of Donna Troy 02
Son of Vulcan 02
and the piece of resistance...
Flaming Carrot v2 03 (aka #35)
JSA 75
Villain's Incorporated 03
Return of Donna Troy 02
Son of Vulcan 02
and the piece of resistance...
Flaming Carrot v2 03 (aka #35)
I are a gubmint employee...
Usually I am able to ignore the fact that, by working for the library, I am am an employee of our esteemed government.
That's until I have to restock the photocopiers or the laser printers. For some reason (I am afraid to ask why, for I'm fearful that the answer might make sense), the reams of paper labelled "copier paper" go in the laser printers and the reams labelled "printer paper" go in the photocopier....
And it all rushes back.
Usually I am able to ignore the fact that, by working for the library, I am am an employee of our esteemed government.
That's until I have to restock the photocopiers or the laser printers. For some reason (I am afraid to ask why, for I'm fearful that the answer might make sense), the reams of paper labelled "copier paper" go in the laser printers and the reams labelled "printer paper" go in the photocopier....
And it all rushes back.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I'd like to thank the (burrrppp....) Academy and Alexi's Chilidogs
Recently, the lovely and gracious Mrs Sivana and I were meandering back to the lair after watching an awards show.
But this isn't about that.
As usual, the show ran long and we were on the road rather late. I was in the mood for a little smackerel of something and everything was closed other than the (in-)convenience stores. And I think I've had my allotment of microwave bricks (see: Dogs in Space) for three lifetimes.
We passed a coney shop, closed for the evening. Sigh.....
Then I got an idea. An awful idea. I got a wonderful, awful idea.
I would open an all-nite coney shop downtown. Amongst all the gin joints and cliquey nightclubs. I would open an outdoor all-nite coney shop and from 1:30 Am to 3 AM (the bars close at 2 AM 'round this way) would have a two for one special. Nay! A three for one special!!
The drunks would flock in and eat too much processed meat with greasy chili and either at home or on the way home would have a "technicolor yawn"!
If I really wanted, I could justify doing this. As a business, I'd be keeping the economy moving, paying employees and taxes. I'd be helping the wandering drunks purge the excess alcohol from their systems all that much quicker (alcohol IS a poison). And homeless animals would get a warm meal..... As long as the purging was outdoors.
But honestly, the real reason..... the one that appeals to the evil, little goth that resides my my heart.....
I'd be getting paid to make drunks puke. Something I might even considering doing for free, if money weren't an issue.
Recently, the lovely and gracious Mrs Sivana and I were meandering back to the lair after watching an awards show.
But this isn't about that.
As usual, the show ran long and we were on the road rather late. I was in the mood for a little smackerel of something and everything was closed other than the (in-)convenience stores. And I think I've had my allotment of microwave bricks (see: Dogs in Space) for three lifetimes.
We passed a coney shop, closed for the evening. Sigh.....
Then I got an idea. An awful idea. I got a wonderful, awful idea.
I would open an all-nite coney shop downtown. Amongst all the gin joints and cliquey nightclubs. I would open an outdoor all-nite coney shop and from 1:30 Am to 3 AM (the bars close at 2 AM 'round this way) would have a two for one special. Nay! A three for one special!!
The drunks would flock in and eat too much processed meat with greasy chili and either at home or on the way home would have a "technicolor yawn"!
If I really wanted, I could justify doing this. As a business, I'd be keeping the economy moving, paying employees and taxes. I'd be helping the wandering drunks purge the excess alcohol from their systems all that much quicker (alcohol IS a poison). And homeless animals would get a warm meal..... As long as the purging was outdoors.
But honestly, the real reason..... the one that appeals to the evil, little goth that resides my my heart.....
I'd be getting paid to make drunks puke. Something I might even considering doing for free, if money weren't an issue.
Feng Shui my hairy tuccus!!!
I'm all for organizing your living space.
There's something to be said for being able to walk thru your home and not stub your toe. And for being able to find your keys.
But Feng Shui? Someone's making way too much easy money off the marks of this sad world. All they did was take home decorating and organizing ideas and dress it up with pretty words to make into a little ley-lines for the home.
What brought this up?
I work for a library. Well, I work for 25 libraries, truth be told. Among other things we loan out are how-to videos. And we have 7 tapes on Feng Shui. (I believe we used to have more, but the borrowers must have lost them in the chaos of their homes.)
There are only 2 ways to put a tape into most video cases (unless you're purposefully being a jerk). And one of them is wrong.
IF YOU CAN'T PUT A TAPE BACK IN THE CASE SO IT CLOSES CORRECTLY YOU SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING FENG SHUI!! SOMEONE WILL BE HURT!! And it may be you....
Step away from the vcr. Keep your hands where I can see them. Slowly, and I mean slowly, remove your library card from your wallet and place it on the counter. Now go home and never darken my path again.
Whew.
I need some coffee....
I'm all for organizing your living space.
There's something to be said for being able to walk thru your home and not stub your toe. And for being able to find your keys.
But Feng Shui? Someone's making way too much easy money off the marks of this sad world. All they did was take home decorating and organizing ideas and dress it up with pretty words to make into a little ley-lines for the home.
What brought this up?
I work for a library. Well, I work for 25 libraries, truth be told. Among other things we loan out are how-to videos. And we have 7 tapes on Feng Shui. (I believe we used to have more, but the borrowers must have lost them in the chaos of their homes.)
There are only 2 ways to put a tape into most video cases (unless you're purposefully being a jerk). And one of them is wrong.
IF YOU CAN'T PUT A TAPE BACK IN THE CASE SO IT CLOSES CORRECTLY YOU SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING FENG SHUI!! SOMEONE WILL BE HURT!! And it may be you....
Step away from the vcr. Keep your hands where I can see them. Slowly, and I mean slowly, remove your library card from your wallet and place it on the counter. Now go home and never darken my path again.
Whew.
I need some coffee....
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Mmmmmmmm...... It's Buddha-rific!!
On the 3rd, Mrs Sivana and I were meandering about Garden Ridge, when we passed a wood-carved Buddha (as opposed to a wooden Buddha, which is a Buddha with little or no personality (I know, old joke. So am I. Deal.)).
This started a conversation about the "tastes great" (fat) vs "less filling" (thin) representations of Buddha. Mrs Sivana recalled that Buddha was fat with wisdom. I responded "Funny, I didn't know being smart was fattening". Looking down, I continued, "But I guess that explains a few things" and patted my stomach.
She rolled her eyes and said it was symbolic, that he wasn't actually fat. "So I just think I'm fat?" was my reply.
"No", she dead-panned. "You just think you're smart". And then she danced....
Is it any wonder I love this woman?
On the 3rd, Mrs Sivana and I were meandering about Garden Ridge, when we passed a wood-carved Buddha (as opposed to a wooden Buddha, which is a Buddha with little or no personality (I know, old joke. So am I. Deal.)).
This started a conversation about the "tastes great" (fat) vs "less filling" (thin) representations of Buddha. Mrs Sivana recalled that Buddha was fat with wisdom. I responded "Funny, I didn't know being smart was fattening". Looking down, I continued, "But I guess that explains a few things" and patted my stomach.
She rolled her eyes and said it was symbolic, that he wasn't actually fat. "So I just think I'm fat?" was my reply.
"No", she dead-panned. "You just think you're smart". And then she danced....
Is it any wonder I love this woman?
Oyez.... Oyez...... Get yer band names here!!
T-shirts, bumber stickers, song and book titles.... Stuff is always popping into my head that should, but sadly doesn't, exist.
Here, for your perusal, are a couple band names that occured to me yester-eve, plus others from earlier times. If you're looking for a band name and happen to like them or any others I may post, feel free to make use of them, free of charge!! I only ask that you thank me (your humble host, Alexi Sivana) in the liner notes of your first release that has liner notes.
Jimmy TK and the Split Infinitives
(there's a Star trek reference in there somewhere)
Lovely Parting Gifts
Bungee Babies
Andrew Ridgley and the Spastic Bastards
The Beau Weevils
There are others, but I have yet to have enough coffee to be dealing with work much less recalling such archival humor. Maybe later....
T-shirts, bumber stickers, song and book titles.... Stuff is always popping into my head that should, but sadly doesn't, exist.
Here, for your perusal, are a couple band names that occured to me yester-eve, plus others from earlier times. If you're looking for a band name and happen to like them or any others I may post, feel free to make use of them, free of charge!! I only ask that you thank me (your humble host, Alexi Sivana) in the liner notes of your first release that has liner notes.
Jimmy TK and the Split Infinitives
(there's a Star trek reference in there somewhere)
Lovely Parting Gifts
Bungee Babies
Andrew Ridgley and the Spastic Bastards
The Beau Weevils
There are others, but I have yet to have enough coffee to be dealing with work much less recalling such archival humor. Maybe later....
